Greetings fellow doggies. This is a TDB fast breaking news story, and I'm your trusty doggie reporter Chester L. W. Spaniel.
The Evil Squirrel Cartel is back!!! My humans have not filled the birdie feeders for the last month in an effort to keep the Evil Squirrel Cartel out of the yard and protect our pear tree from their depredations. Well now that the pears are almost gone, my humans decided it was time to feed the birdies again. After all, they have to get good and fat before the winter comes. However, as you doggies well know, the Evil Squirrel Cartel can detect birdie seeds from miles away and will stop at nothing to steal some! Look! There's one now!
I was not amused.
I'm pretty sure this is alias Twinkletoes, the rude squirrel that says we owe him a peanut butter sandwich. I think some neighbors have been feeding him, because he didn't run away when he saw us looking out the window. In fact, he just hopped over to the pear tree and started eating a pear!
I soon ran out and disillusioned him!
I'm sure more operatives from the Evil Squirrel Cartel will be arriving soon. So now I'm going to have to maintain heightened vigilance at my drive through barking window. I'll be sure to provide updates as they occur.