Sunday, May 31, 2015

Dreary Day

Hello loyal readers. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your diligent doggie reporter Chester L. W. Stephens along with my pertinacious associate Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens on location in the rain. 

It seems summer is over already! We awoke this morning to cold temperatures and persistent rain. 


Here we are yesterday, squinting in the hot sun. 


Now we're watching raindrops go plunk plunk in a puddle. 


We spent some time watching TV with Dad, like these two: 


We spent a lot of time sleeping. 


I nosed around in the garden a bit, but there was not much to track. The rain washed away the scents.


Then we had another nap. 


Never fear, though. Our favorite miniature human, Ryan, came over for a visit. And he brought …


… CUPCAKES! 

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Who Wants To Be President?

Greetings friends and fellow doggies. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your sincere doggie commentator Chester L. W. Stephens.


If you have been watching the news lately, you'd see there are lots and lots of people who want to become the next President of the USA. The number grows every day. As loyal fans may remember, I ran for President in 2012 and lost. I wonder if I should run again this time?

I had a discussion with my pragmatic campaign manager Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens about another run in 2016. We had a lot of things to consider. After all, the world of politics is becoming more brutal by the minute. You can expect to have yourself and your entire family thoroughly pelted with mud. You must be sure you don't have any nasty little secrets, or past indiscretions, and that you are squeaky clean.

Step 1. My tennis balls are squeaky clean. I slobber them almost every day to keep them that way.

Step 2. I checked outside, and there is no mud in my back yard, at least right now. If someone wants to throw mud at me, they'd have to cart it from their own yard.

Step 3. Refer the public to one of my favorite posts in which I said, and demonstrated, that I was not intolerant towards cats. Here is an excerpt:

"As more and more citizens become aware of the Squeaky Party and our slogan, Squeaky Toys for Everybody Except Cats, there have been suggestions that our anti-cat position is discrimination. So I decided to ask my resident cat, Maddie, what she thinks about squeaky toys. She says that although squeaky toys are not her favorite type of plaything, many other cats like them very much. Therefore, I will remove that part of our slogan. After all, the essence of the Squeaky Party is for as many citizens as possible to experience the joy of squeaky toys, thus promoting world peace."


Well, that's a lot to think about! I probably should follow Joey's example and rest my brain box for a while. We plan to discuss more pros and cons at a future date. 


Tomorrow's another day! 



Friday, May 29, 2015

Dastardly Perpetrators

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and we're your watchful doggie reporters Special Agent Chester L. W. Stephens and Special Agent Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens. 


As you know, we are The Double Doggie Homeland Security System. We are on the job 24/7 and protect our home and yard from all kinds of evil miscreants. However, we have now found a foe against which we are helpless. (Personally we don't really care, but ghostwriter does.) Take a look at this:


This is all that remains of a bud from ghostwriter's favorite iris, code-named Hello Darkness. Inside the ruined bud is a fat, slimy iris grub. Ghostwriter despises these particular grubs! However, they usually don't strike until later in the season when the flowers are done blooming when they destroy the root instead. Ghostwriter digs up the roots, takes out the grubs, and replants the roots. We used to feed those grubs to our gecko Elvis, who would snap them up quick. But Elvis, as you know, after quite a long and productive life, left the building last Fall, and crossed the Rainbow Bridge. 

Iris: Hello Darkness from June 2014.

Iris:  Hello Darkness right now. 

This wanton destruction of the flowers themselves has put ghostwriter in quite a rage. We doggies have no idea how to locate these pests and destroy them. I have personally offered to trample the plants, but ghostwriter always yells at me when I do this. (Is it just me, or do humans seem weird about stuff like flowers?) 

Chester-zilla in the iris patch.

To add insult to injury, she also found another horrifying criminal against which we doggies are clueless. Today there were red lily beetle grubs on her last remaining Asian lilies. 


These disgusting creatures spend their time chewing up the leaves whilst hiding in piles of their own poop. Yuck! She picked them off their gooey piles and sacrificed them to the ant gods in their mound outside the front door. 




We doggies are sorry we are of no assistance against these garden pests. Ghostwriter does not like to use pesticides, but if anyone knows how to get rid of them, please let us know. 

This TDB was brought to you by:

THE DOUBLE DOGGIE HOMELAND SECURITY SYSTEM

24/7 PROTECTION AGAINST ALMOST ALL OF YOUR EVIL INVADERS.

WE TACKLE GRACKLES, SQUIRRELS, MOUSIES, RABBITS, AND SHREWS

BUT NOT GRUBS. 

AND BARKING IS ALWAYS FREE. 


Thursday, May 28, 2015

Locked And Loaded

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I’m your enthusiastic doggie reporter Chester L. W. Stephens. 


Spring is well underway, and soon it will be Summer. In fact, here in Western New York, the unofficial start of Summer is Memorial Day, even though the calendar says otherwise. You see, we really, really love Summer around here after the dreadfully long months of gray cold dark miserable drab dismal—well, you get the picture—weather we have for more than half of the year.

We looked up at the silver maple tree and saw that it's full of seeds. Ghostwriter said the term locked and loaded came to mind. 


Many of them were already falling like a snow storm of little whirling helicopters. My esteemed colleague Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens is on location under the tree and confirms the yearly deluge of maple seeds has indeed begun. Not to worry, though. Dad just mows over them and eventually they decompose into mulch for the grass. We have also witnessed squirrels eating them, which keeps those miscreants out of the birdie feeders. 


Look, squirrels: it's a smorgasbord!


We thought more about the term locked and loaded and found it could apply to other things. For example these flower buds are locked, loaded, and ready to burst open!

Iris.

Blam!

Poppy.

Ka-pow! 

Clemetis.

Boom! 

Rain clouds.

Whoosh! 

Even the creepy crawlies are getting ready for the big Summer ahead. Here's a tiny little spider mom clutching her egg sack full of her future babies. She's been in this same spot, in her little nest under a rock, for the last three days now. 


A few feet away the ant colony is running at full capacity, getting ready for Summer foraging.  Look at the different sized larvae! 


These are the harmless little black ants who have lived under the same rock in our garden for a long time. Here they are helping this peony bud to open. 


Summer time fun: here we come! 



Poof! 


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

No Time!

This is The Daily Bone and I'm your culinary expert doggie host Joseph (Joey dog) Stephens, Doggie Chief Inspector and founder of the Yum Yum Coalition. 


Ghostwriter has to go to work yet again, so I decided I could write a quick little food report. I'm standing next to our wonderful pear tree. It looks like we'll have a good harvest this year. I can hardly wait! 


Here's a lovely teriyaki salmon with rice and vegetables. The other dish is grilled chicken for Dad who doesn't care for fish. I think it's all good! 


Here our Florida associate Miss Charlee is inspecting a salad. Looking good Charlee!


Spaghetti with grilled Italian sausage and steamed green beans. Heavenly! 


Here we have a beautiful pot pie. (Please don't tell Chester it's just a regular chicken pot pie and not made out of that big grackle he caught the other day!)  

Time to go now. Happy eating! 




Addendum

Here's a little tutorial video for Charlie of some noisy, annoying grackles:




Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Undercover And Rumpled Rug Syndrome

This is The Daily Bone and I'm your covert doggie correspondent Chester L. W. Stephens. Tonight I guess I'll be reporting from undercover. Literally.


Every evening I fix up the blanket on my doggie bed by rolling around in it. It seems I got a little carried away this time. 


It was getting kind of dark in the room so Ghostwriter turned on the flash! Oh no! 

Um, a little help here …

Dork.


Earlier today:

Gee, I wonder who keeps doing this?

Oops. 

Monday, May 25, 2015

Guess What I Caught?

Hello. This is The Daily Bone and I'm your proficient doggie reporter Chester L. W. Stephens. 


As you can see, I caught a birdie! Cocker Spaniels are natural bird dogs, and I am an excellent bird dog. See the nice big birdie I caught all by myself? My esteemed colleague and fellow Cocker Spaniel Joseph (Joey dog) was outside too, but he was busy pooping at the other side of the yard. 


When we went outside, there were a lot of noisy grackles up in the silver maple tree, squawking up a storm. We figured there must be a hawk or a crow around. But then one flew out of the tree and bumped into the house! It landed right in the middle of ghostwriter's garden. So I nabbed it!


Wow, did it squawk and flap! The other grackles dive bombed me. Ghostwriter chased me around the yard, but I wasn't going to let anyone get my birdie that I caught all by myself! Catching birdies is a Cocker Spaniels's job, after all! 


I decided to try to hide it behind the bushes, but ghostwriter finally picked it up. It was quite limp and quiet by then. I don't know where she put it after that. Maybe she'll cook it for dinner. It was big enough for a pot pie!




Oh, and we at The Daily Bone would like to wish you a good Memorial Day.